Sunday, January 9, 2011

Winter Break/Feelings!

My feelings have changed so much since I wrote this post.
I'm happy to say that I'm happy to be living where I am.
Happy to start a brand new year in a brand new place.
I mean its not brand new technically we've been here for 6 months but it still feels new.

I visited home over winter break.
I flew out days before BF did.
He was staying behind for a few more days to work.
It was going to be the longest we've spent apart.
It was really hard for both of us but more so him than me.
At least I was a tiny bit happy I was getting to go see my family.
So through this all I got to experience some new feelings!
One bad, one good.
Walking away from my boyfriend at the airport.
Ummm that hurt my heart, alot!
Its really weird to look at a person, and know its the last time you'll be able to see/touch him/her for a while. I'd never experienced it before. I mean yea when I moved out/left home, but its way different leaving your Mom than your boyfriend.
I was so excited to pick him up at the airport!
I would have drove down a day earlier just to wait for him, I was that excited.
Driving home with him was one of the best feelings ever.
Everything around us could have been falling apart but we wouldn't have noticed or cared cause we were just so happy that we were together, everything felt perfect because of that.

I once saw this card at Hallmark that read "Home is where my Mom is".
That explains how I used to feel.
My Dad always tried convincing me that Hallmark was wrong because actually home is where you make it.
But I was team Hallmark all the way and I really missed 'home'.
Even after moving states away, I couldn't help but feel like home was still in CA and that was the only place I could be happy.
But when I was there at 'home', I realized something, that I missed my other home.
My little apartment, my boyfriend, the pets, that was home now and I couldn't believe I was missing it.
All that time spent crying about it, and now I was missing it.
It was a crazy feeling, being ready to leave CA especially since that was the only place I had wanted to be for so long.
I'll probably always be a little California girl and sure my dream is to live there forever, but not before I see other places, point is I'm happy that right now I live somewhere else.

Overall though it was a great vacation.
It was sooo nice to see my family..
BF got to do some laughing when I started to get irritated with my Mom. (which secretly started the 1st day ahahaha)
Happy to visit my old hair stylist while in town! (was very much needed)
I was happy I had the time to do a dinner with my girlfriends!
I've met people here but nothing compares to the friends you've kept from high school.

It was nice to see that things were pretty much the same, I hadn't missed much.
I'm so happy that I'm happy with my decision to move :)