- A muddy dog, that you could tell was old, with one of those plastic cones around his neck, was not wandering around my neighborhood late Sunday night. I had no sympathy for the dog with the cone from whichever vet he went to, that was stumbling across his own paws (meds?). Not me! So you bet I wasn't the one to give him a towel to sleep on, food, water, and a neighborhood search. Not. Me.
- I did not set all of the bagged refrigerated items in front of the fridge and simply go outside. Disappear into the backyard and hideaway with the dogs, so that J was left putting the bags of groceries away. What kind of girlfriend would not help?
- We have a new shower curtain that makes the bathroom a little darker, and more "spa" like, ha! But I didn't take an extra long shower. No way! I wouldn't stay in there for anything over 20 minutes! Not me!
- I did not set out chicken to thaw to cook for dinner, and I did not end up putting it back in the freezer. Who does that? Not me. I did not call and order a pizza after I put the chicken back in. J did not go pick it up. And he didn't put the pizza box on top of the car so he could unlock the door. Not him! He did not actually get in and take off and he most certainly did not get waved down in the parking lot because he was driving with a pizza box on top of his car. Noo he did NOT! That would be embarrassing!
- I was not awake past 2 a.m three nights in a row, doing last minute preparations for a midterm. No, not me, I usually get a nice 8 hours in and I'm on top of my studying anyway!
- Before cleaning up the Crayola Heads & Tails Markers and printer paper that the nephew left out, I did not sit at the table for...umm...awhile...and design a rainbow themed declaration of love for my boyfriend. Not me. Oh and I didn't slip it under the bathroom door when he was in the shower. Oh and this isn't my first "Not Me"! Not ME!
See what everyone else isn't doing here!